A year after my diagnosis I decided to try meds. I had originally said no because I was put off by conflicting opinions and scare stories about using stimulants. But after a year I had met a lot of people with ADHD and many of them were medicated. Although it can take some trial and error to get the type and dose right, most agreed that meds make a huge positive difference in their lives.
So I approached my psychiatrist and said that that I would like to try meds and he prescribed Concerta. I struggled to imagine what it would be like. I don’t know what a neurotypical brain feels like, and for 55 years I thought everybody had a super busy and somewhat chaotic mind. I genuinely couldn’t imagine what effect the stimulant would have.
I can think of a few analogies. Half an hour after taking my first pill I could see all the colours. Everything so looked so bright and clear, I cried a bit. It was like putting on glasses for the first time, and really seeing the detail of what was around me. It went quiet inside my head so I could focus on the present, like turning off the radio and TV and sitting in a quiet room, noticing the decor.
I know it sounds dramatic and it was!
I take them everyday including weekends and not just for work. I find that time has slowed down a bit and I can make better judgments about how I spend that time. I can focus far better in meetings and when chatting with friends and family. I’m more present in the moment, and I can be more engaged with people – listening well and asking the right questions.
There have been a couple of side effects. I’m normally a very cold person, wearing 5 layers and complaining about being freezing all the time. Now I am very warm, and my temperature goes up and down a bit more. I can feel a bit queasy when I’m exercising, so I don’t take the meds till after the gym. I have to eat some breakfast but my appetite has not been affected.
This has been a life changing experience for me, but it’s still just the beginning. I’ll write a new post in a few months with an update.
