“I need to be more organised.”
It is a common way to begin a coaching conversation.
The phrase might refer to work, home, appointments, finances, study, family life or all of them at once.
It sounds clear, but it rarely tells us enough to begin.
What would being more organised actually change?
Would the client leave the house with less stress? Remember important commitments? Find documents more easily? Spend less time worrying about what they may have forgotten?
Or do they want to feel less ashamed when somebody sees their desk?
“Be more organised” often contains a more specific and meaningful need.
ADHD coaching helps slow the goal down, look underneath the label and understand what the client really wants to be different.
Organisation is not a personality test
People often talk about organisation as though it reflects character.
An organised person is seen as responsible, capable and professional.
A disorganised person may be described as careless, chaotic or unreliable.
These judgements can shape the way a client understands themselves.
They may have spent years hearing comments about their bedroom, desk, bag, diary or timekeeping. By the time they reach coaching, “I need to be more organised” may carry a much broader message:
“I need to become the kind of person other people find acceptable.”
That is not a useful starting point for change.
Organisation is not a moral quality.
It is a collection of systems, decisions and environmental arrangements that may or may not support what someone needs to do.
A desk can look untidy and still function well.
A beautifully arranged filing system can be useless if the person cannot remember where anything has been placed.
The coaching question is not:
“Does this look organised?”
It is:
“Does this help the client live and work in the way they want?”
Broad goals can hide several different difficulties
Two clients may both say they want to become more organised, while needing completely different support.
One person may struggle to hold information in mind.
Another may have too many places where tasks are recorded.
Someone may know where everything is but feel embarrassed because their workspace looks unconventional.
Another client may be managing an unrealistic number of responsibilities and interpreting the resulting overload as a personal failure.
A broad goal can hide difficulties involving:
- Memory
- Task initiation
- Prioritising
- Decision-making
- Time awareness
- Transitions
- Energy
- Visual clutter
- Unclear expectations
- Competing responsibilities
- Shame about appearing different
- Systems that require too much maintenance
Until the coach understands which of these matters, “be more organised” can lead to generic solutions that miss the client’s actual experience.
Ask what organisation would make possible
A useful coaching question is:
“If you felt more organised, what would be different in your day?”
The answer may reveal the real goal.
The client might say:
- I would stop arriving at work already stressed.
- I would remember the things my children need for school.
- I would know what to work on first.
- I would stop avoiding my bank statements.
- I would be able to relax without worrying that I have forgotten something.
- I would feel less embarrassed when somebody visits.
- I would spend less money replacing things I cannot find.
- I would have more energy left at the end of the day.
These are more useful goals.
They describe an experience the client wants to change.
They also open several possible routes forward. The answer may involve a practical system, but it could also involve reducing demands, changing an environment, asking for support or questioning an unrealistic standard.
Example one: leaving the house with less stress
A client says they want to be more organised in the mornings.
They have tried detailed routines, alarms and checklists.
The coach asks what a better morning would look like.
The client explains that the main problem occurs in the final ten minutes before leaving. They search for keys, remember something they need to take, return upstairs and then realise their phone battery is low.
The real goal is not general organisation.
It is:
“I want to leave the house without a stressful last-minute search.”
That gives the coaching conversation a clearer focus.
The coach and client might explore:
- Which items are usually needed?
- Where does the client naturally put them down?
- Could the charging point be moved?
- Would a visible leaving-the-house area help?
- Which decisions can be made the previous evening?
- Does the plan still work on a low-energy day?
- What part of the routine is genuinely useful?
The resulting system may be very small: one basket by the door, a charger nearby and a short evening reset.
It does not need to reorganise the whole house.
Example two: remembering commitments
Another client says they need to organise their diary.
They already use a digital calendar. Appointments are recorded correctly, but they still miss preparation tasks and arrive feeling rushed.
The issue is not recording the event.
The system does not make visible what needs to happen before it.
A meeting on Thursday may require a document on Wednesday, information from a colleague on Tuesday and travel planning earlier in the week.
The client’s real goal becomes:
“I want commitments to feel visible before they become urgent.”
This may lead to a conversation about lead time, reminders, preparation cues and reviewing upcoming commitments.
A different client with the same broad goal might need fewer reminders rather than more. Their calendar may have become so crowded that no single notification stands out.
The coach does not assume that one diary system will suit both people.
Example three: the desk that looks “wrong”
A client apologises for the state of their workspace.
There are papers in visible piles, several notebooks and objects connected to current projects.
They say they need to become more organised.
As the coach explores the issue, the client explains that they can usually find what they need. The piles act as visual reminders. When they previously placed everything into drawers, tasks disappeared from awareness.
The practical system is functioning reasonably well.
The main difficulty is shame.
The client believes a professional workspace should look minimal and tidy. They worry that other people will judge them.
The coaching conversation may then explore:
- Whose standard are they trying to meet?
- Does the current system support their work?
- Is there any genuine difficulty they want to change?
- Could visual organisation look intentional without hiding everything?
- What would help them feel comfortable when other people enter the space?
- Is “tidy” the same as “effective”?
The solution may be labelled trays, clearer zones or a way to gather active papers before a visitor arrives.
It may also be accepting that a visible system works better for them.
Function matters more than appearance
Traditional organisational advice often focuses on making spaces and systems look orderly.
Items should be put away. Surfaces should be clear. Categories should be neat. The same routine should be followed consistently.
These approaches can be helpful, but they are not automatically more functional.
A system that hides everything may reduce visual clutter while increasing forgetting.
A complicated filing structure may look professional while requiring too many decisions.
A weekly routine may appear balanced while depending on an amount of energy the client rarely has.
Neuro-affirming coaching asks whether the system supports the person.
That may involve accepting approaches that look unconventional:
- Keeping important items visible
- Using open baskets rather than closed storage
- Having several copies of commonly used objects
- Recording information in one simple place
- Preparing only the parts of a routine that reduce stress
- Using visual cues that other people might not need
- Creating separate systems for high-capacity and low-capacity days
The goal is not to make the client appear neurotypical.
It is to help them create conditions that work.
“Be more organised” may actually mean “carry less”
Sometimes the client’s systems are not the main problem.
They may be trying to manage too much.
A parent balancing work, appointments, school communication, household tasks and caring responsibilities may describe themselves as disorganised because something is always being missed.
A professional may have accepted several projects without enough time or support.
A student may be expected to track information across multiple platforms, messages and deadlines.
Adding another planner may place the responsibility entirely on the individual while leaving the volume of demand unchanged.
Coaching can create space to ask:
- Is the workload realistic?
- Which responsibilities genuinely belong to the client?
- What could be delegated, delayed or removed?
- Where could support be requested?
- Are expectations clear?
- Is the environment creating unnecessary complexity?
- Would reducing commitments help more than improving the system?
Organisation cannot solve unlimited demand.
Sometimes the meaningful goal is creating more capacity, not becoming better at carrying everything.
Turn the label into a specific outcome
A broad goal becomes easier to explore when it is connected to an observable experience.
Instead of:
“I want to be more organised.”
The client might decide:
- I want to know the three tasks that matter most each morning.
- I want to find my keys without searching several rooms.
- I want to notice appointments two days before they happen.
- I want to pay regular bills without waiting for a final reminder.
- I want my desk to support my work without making me feel ashamed.
- I want to finish work without carrying every unfinished task in my head.
- I want to leave the house with enough time to travel calmly.
These goals are not necessarily smaller.
They are clearer.
They allow the coach and client to understand what needs to change, test an approach and review whether it helped.
What does “good enough” organisation look like?
Many organisational goals are built around perfection.
The client imagines a system in which every task is recorded, every item has one permanent place and nothing is forgotten.
Real life rarely works that way.
People become tired. Priorities change. Systems stop being visible. Unexpected demands appear.
A more sustainable question is:
“What would be organised enough for this part of your life?”
Good-enough organisation might mean:
- Important appointments are visible
- Essential items are easier to find
- The client can recover after a disrupted week
- The system works most of the time
- There is a reduced version for difficult days
- The client knows when and how to ask for help
- The effort of maintaining the system is proportionate to the benefit
This reduces the risk of creating an elaborate system that becomes another task.
Coaching explores the emotional meaning of organisation
Organisational difficulties are often discussed as practical problems.
They can also carry strong emotions.
A pile of unopened post may be connected to anxiety about money.
A missed deadline may bring up memories of criticism.
A cluttered room may become evidence, in the client’s mind, that they are failing as an adult.
A digital task list may hold so many overdue items that opening it feels physically uncomfortable.
The emotional response does not make the practical issue less real.
It helps explain why another checklist may not be enough.
A coach might ask:
- What do you feel when you look at this?
- What does the mess or unfinished task seem to say about you?
- Is there a part of the system you avoid?
- What previous experiences are connected to this?
- What would make the first contact with it feel safer or smaller?
- Do we need to change the task, the environment or the expectation?
The coach remains within the boundaries of coaching while recognising that emotion and action are connected.
Where the client needs therapeutic or specialist support, a responsible coach should recognise the limits of their role and discuss appropriate next steps.
A coaching example: the impossible weekly reset
A client wants to complete a full household reset every Sunday.
Their plan includes laundry, meal preparation, cleaning, paperwork, calendar review and organising the week ahead.
They rarely complete it.
Each Sunday evening ends with frustration and a feeling that they are starting the week badly.
The coach asks what the weekly reset is meant to achieve.
The client says they want Monday morning to feel less chaotic.
That becomes the real goal.
The coach and client explore which parts of the reset affect Monday most.
They identify three:
- Having clean clothes available
- Knowing the first appointment
- Having something simple for breakfast
The full reset may still be useful occasionally, but it is no longer the minimum standard.
The client creates a short Monday-preparation routine and treats everything else as optional.
The coaching has not made them less ambitious.
It has separated the meaningful outcome from an inherited idea of what an organised week should look like.
Coaches need to resist the attraction of tidy solutions
Organisation problems invite practical advice.
A coach may want to recommend colour coding, digital tools, storage systems or routines.
These ideas may help, but they should follow understanding rather than replace it.
Before offering a suggestion, the coach might ask:
- What does organised mean to this client?
- What is the actual impact of the current difficulty?
- Is the system failing, or is the standard unrealistic?
- Does the client want practical ideas?
- What have they already tried?
- What does the strategy require them to remember?
- Could the environment be changed?
- Is shame influencing the goal?
- Would reducing demands be more helpful?
A practical tool is most useful when it supports a goal the client has clarified.
Otherwise, the coach may help the client create a more efficient version of something they never wanted.
Progress may look less tidy than expected
A client may become better organised without their home, desk or calendar looking conventional.
They may still use visible piles, but each pile has a clear purpose.
They may keep duplicate chargers in different rooms.
They may use a paper diary for appointments and a digital list for work.
They may stop planning every hour and focus only on transitions and deadlines.
They may leave some tasks unfinished deliberately because something else matters more.
The important change is that the systems become more intentional, usable and compassionate.
The client understands why they work.
They can adjust them when circumstances change.
They are less likely to interpret every disruption as personal failure.
The better question is “What do you want to be easier?”
“Be more organised” is often a starting point, not the final goal.
A useful coaching conversation helps the client move from a broad judgement to a meaningful outcome.
The coach may ask:
“What do you want organisation to give you?”
The answer could be time, calm, confidence, visibility, reliability, rest or greater trust in themselves.
Once that becomes clear, the client has more options.
They can build a system, simplify a routine, change an environment, request support or decide that an external standard no longer deserves so much energy.
That is a more useful form of organisation.
It is shaped around the person’s life rather than asking the person to reshape themselves around an ideal system.
Interested in developing practical ADHD coaching skills?
ADHD coaching helps clients move beyond broad labels such as “disorganised” and explore the real experiences, needs and goals underneath them.
That work requires curiosity, careful listening, neuro-affirming practice and the ability to develop practical experiments without assuming there is one correct way to work.
At Barrett Coaching & Training, our ADHD coach training supports developing coaches and practitioners to build practical, reflective and professionally grounded coaching skills.
Explore ADHD coach training and discover where you could begin.
